It's a strange day indeed when you actually find a strait jacket cute...

I'm not a parent ... the closest I come to it is the occasional baby sitting stint for friends ... but for those of you out there who have managed to procreate I have a question.

Is it standard practice to put your kids in strait jackets?

Because a store in Brazil seems to think it is [link].  They're marketing a new range of toddler equipment called "control toys", which includes a teddy bear patterned strait jacket, a purple highchair with pink arm and leg shackles, and smiley face ball and chain with convenient ankle strap!

Hmm, well I suppose that's one way to make sure the kids don't mess up the house.

The kids in the pictures all look terrifyingly happy, even the one they've got strapped into the the disturbingly titled "Baby Trap Chair".  Colour me suspicious, but I don't think I've ever met a three year old that would have been happily and willingly shoved into a strait jacket, strapped to a chair or shackled to a giant grinning ball.

But then again, is it really any different to the kid leashes people sometimes use?   I recall my parents using them when I was a toddler, and I turned out okay.  I know there's a lot of criticism aimed at parents who use them, but I'm not sure I think it's a bad thing.  Is it really that different to making a child hold your hand?

But if we're being realistic I suppose we have to acknowledge that there's an enormous difference between hooking a curly plastic phone cord to the back of your kid's backpack and strapping a toddler's arms and legs to a chair.

Okay, okay, I'll admit it, they're not real products.  It was just a practical joke played by the store.  They set up the display and then recorded the reactions of the people who came in.  When the outraged shoppers picked up the boxes they found an advertising message on the back that said "There are better ways to discipline your child ... watch Super Nanny".

Well that's a bit harsh.  What could the kids have possibly done that would deserve having to watch Super Nanny?  That show is awful!

It's not a good day unless I've been reduced to inconsolable tears by an imaginary person...

I read somewhere once that a child will laugh up to 400 times in a day, while an adult will be lucky to reach a dozen chuckles. Isn't that dreadful! We're going to have to do something about that.

Maybe some pictures of dead puppies. That should take care of those pesky laughing kids.

Calm down, I'm just kidding!  But if there's one bloke who doesn't lack for laughter in his life it's this guy [link].  I've heard of strokes causing neurological problems before, but to be left without the ability to feel sad?  To be endlessly cheerful and happy every single day?

Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it.

I'd have to imagine that it's not all it's cracked up to be though.  If you're happy all the time, does that mean you lose the ability to empathise with people's pain?  What happens if you lose someone you care for deeply, are you able to truly feel it?  Is an eternally good mood worth it if you lose a certain level of emotional depth?

You have to admit though, it's horrible that we seem to lose the ability to laugh after we reach adulthood.  When I sat down and really thought about it the other day, I realised that I can go whole days without laughing.   That's a pretty awful thing considering barely a day goes by without me bawling my eyes out.

Don't get worried, it's not from anything serious.  I just have a thing for sad, angsty stories.  I can't get enough of them!  Tales of unrequited love, emotional trauma and widespread tragedy are my thing.  Of course they have to have a happy ending, you can't really enjoy a good angstfest unless you know everything's going to turn out okay by the final chapter, but unless I burst into tears at least twice during the course of the story I consider it a wasted opportunity.

So, anyone got any good angsty story recommendations for me?  Bonus points if you can make me sob like a baby!  

I'm pretty sure that dentistry isn't an inherited trait...

Source

Drunk people aren't really known for their sound judgement.  I think we can all agree on that.

God knows, I have no room to judge.  I've done plenty of things I'm not overly proud of when I was "three sheets to the wind", but I think I can pretty safely say I've never done something so stupid as this guy [link] who thought it would be a brilliant idea to pull out some kid's loose tooth.

And not even a kid he knew, just some random child he saw in a park who was worrying the tooth with his tongue!  He just marched over and yanked that tooth out of that kid's head without so much as a by-your-leave.

I know drunk people have poor impulse control, but who on earth even has the impulse to pull out kid's teeth in the first place?  Is he a reincarnated Spanish Inquisition torturer?  A frustrated tooth fairy wannabe?

Although if I had to guess I'd say his blood alcohol level of 0.2% was the deciding factor.

But the best part of this story was his excuse when the cops arrested him.  Apparently he thought that he was perfectly entitled to practice amateur dentistry on non-consenting children because he came from a long line of dentists so he, and I quote, "knew what (he) was doing".  Yep that's right, he decided that just because his father an grandfather were dentists, that entitled him to practice without a license ... in a public park ... on a kid he just picked out randomly.

Oh dude, somehow I don't think the judge is going to buy that old chestnut.